Don't Tell
by thenostalgicdreamer
Summary: Ernie and Marisa on the little moments over the years that KC never hears about


She's eight, and he's six, and she only plays with K.C. She'd like to know Ernie, but it doesn't work that way. She and K.C. spend hours in her pink wonderland of a play house with the sign that says "No boys allowed". One day when KC is gone, she goes over and knocks on the Coopers' door. Ernie's sitting playing video games and has hard time believing she'd really want to play with him. But eventually, she coaxes him over, and they play house-he's the father to her baby dolls. They have just "woken up" from yet another night when he asks about the sign in the door. She tells him that's just for when K.C.'s there because she likes him and wants to be friends. Just no filling up the place with Space Warriors and definitely no telling K.C. He readily agrees. The smile on his face has never been bigger filling her heart with warmth and making her hope the future will bring more of this.

He's eleven, and she's thirteen, and he comes over because she's not answering her texts. KC's ticked because she can't get a hold of her best friend. He's sick of it, and KC won't come over herself because of some girl reason he doesn't understand. He goes in the front door just like always, and her room door is open. He is completely unprepared for what greets him when he walks in. Awkwardness fills the room the moment she looks up, and they make eye contact for the first time. He knows something is wrong, but he doesn't know what at first. He's never seen her like this before. Heck, he's never seen anything quite like this outside of the movies. Marisa is in her old faded pajamas with the covers up to her waist. The floor is littered with tissues. When she turns to face him, he notices her makeup is completely wrecked. He asks why she didn't respond. She doesn't have an answer; she just tells him to tell KC she has the killer flu and she'll die if she comes over. She doesn't look sick though, and he points that out. She tells him to go away. He turns, and the garbage catches his eye—broken pieces of colored paper rest on top. It's a torn photograph or maybe two. He faces her and asks if Andy dumped her. She nods, the tears flowing, and he doesn't know what to do or say. He doesn't know what you're supposed to say to someone who's just been through a breakup. He just knows he can't leave her like this. He finds a spot at the foot of the bed and takes it telling her he's so sorry and that he knows she'll find someone else. Something deep inside says it hopes she doesn't. He ignores that voice. It's not like that with them. It's never been like that. She's one of his favorite people in the whole world, but he's not ready for that thought so it gets banished to the deepest, darkest corner of his mind. But someday, he'll look back on it as when he first knew he was in love with her. A little smile on her face is her only reply, and he wonders if he's not so bad at this at all. She makes him promise to not tell KC, but she doesn't have to. This secret is going to the grave with him.

She's seventeen, and he's fifteen when she's caught in the crossfire at the cabin. She is so excited to go; it's a fun adventure, and her parents won't care if she's with KC. Besides, she's always wondered what missions are like. She sees the normal part of spy life—the sitting around at home waiting for something to happen, but she has never gone along when something does. Here's her chance, and she's so eager to take it. Eager would describe her attitude until The Other Side shows up and bullets are flying. It's not exciting anymore to know any moment a bullet could hit just wrong, and her life could be over. She feels herself starting to panic; she's never had an anxiety attack, but if she doesn't miss her guess that's exactly what this is. She's only conscious of fear and of bullets—never ending bullets. In the haze, she hears Ernie and K.C. talking. The next moment, she's in his arms—he's carrying her to safety. He's not fearless; she knows he's struggling, but he's not going to let her die in there or suffer in fear without doing something about it. She just feels how much he cares for her—how determined he is to do her right. She has always loved him; he's her best friend beside KC, but right now that feeling fills her heart in a way it never has before. Bullets whizz around them, and she half expects one of them to fall mortally wounded. But they cross the driveway and safely stop by a barn where he sets her down. Her heart is still racing, and she's obviously not thinking straight because what comes out of her mouth is something about not knowing how cute he was before. She's immediately kicking herself because it makes her sound like such the dumb blonde and he could take it as an insult. She just wanted to express her gratitude, but that's not what came out at all, so she says "no offense" because apologizing would just make it worse. His smile is genuine, and she instantly knows he's not offended at all, and that makes her feel better too. She knows he doesn't think so, but he's so good at being a field agent. Maybe he's not a thrill-seeking daredevil like KC, and he legit gets scared. But he cares, and when it really matters, he can get the job done. Somehow, she feels like he needs to know that. She starts with a "don't tell KC" and tells him she thinks he has what it takes to be a field agent. He thanks her and gives a tentative "we'll see". There's an extra spring in his step as they go off to find KC, and she's happy to know she gave him a boost. She doesn't know it then, but someday she'll back on it as the day everything changed.

He's sixteen, and she's eighteen when their mission ends badly and they get captured by Zayne. They're not expecting him to jump out from behind a tree while they're tiptoeing through a forest. But he does with two other assailants who capture them easily despite their determination to fight. The grip on his arm is tight as they're lead to a cabin in a clearing. He catches a glimpse of Marisa as she's half pulled through the doorway; her expression is practically blank, but he's sure he sees tears puddling around her eyes. She's scared, and he's not surprised. She's only been captured a few times before. They're practically pushed down the stairs to the cellar, and the door is locked leaving them in the damp, cold dark. He hears her whimper like she's stifling a sob, and his heart breaks. He doesn't have a high tolerance for discomfort, and watching the girl he loves most in the world suffer is a pain unlike all others. He stumbles through the dark to her side and sits down wrapping his arm around her shoulders. She lays her head on his shoulder; he rubs her back and says that it's all going to be alright. She fights to keep her voice steady as she reminds him that she's eighteen, she should be the brave one, she wants to be the brave one. But she's not. She's shaking. He feels his heart bursting with pride at her determination to be brave when she's got to be cold in her flimsy dress and she has always been scared of the dark. Besides, she's facing all this because she choose to become a spy, to do something perhaps beyond her because she knew it was something that could change the world. He can't say that though. It's not like that with them, so he tells her it's okay, that she makes him feel better because that's the truth. She shivers violently, and he worries. He's got find a way to calm her down because if he doesn't, everything will spiral. His brain tells him to kiss her, that it'd calm her panic. It's not the first time he's thought about kissing her. He tries to suppress it though because heck he's not sure she'd take so kindly to it, and he wants to keep things easy and comfortable between them. But now it seems like kissing her would be the right choice, so he leans over and finds her lips in the darkness. He was right; she calms down, and it's a moment before she pulls away. But when she does, she asks him what that was. He doesn't know what to say. He can't bring up her panic, bring her to another one. So he just says that he wanted to. It's more candid than he wants, but it's the truth. She tells him they can't. He's her best friend besides KC; what they have is too special to lose. This can't get out she warns him. He's not sure why she worries. He doesn't kiss and tell or maybe he just doesn't kiss. She scoots away, and he tells her it's going to be okay. They'll never kiss again; they'll never talk about this again. She asks him not to tell KC, but she doesn't have to. He'd never dream of it. This is too sacred, too once in a lifetime to ever breath a word about it.

She's twenty-three, and he's twenty-one, and they're driving trying to get away from some Alternate agents when she hears the whizz of a bullet. She can feel it shake her seat, and when she glances over, she sees Ernie slumped down in the seat beside her. Her mind goes a million miles a minute, but mainly to the fact that in a moment her life has change forever. Her best friend, her Organization partner is gone. She has known their life was dangerous, but she had always held onto hope that this would never happen-at least not to them. No, they'd still be saving the world together when they're sixty. But no, this is how it ends, and he'll never know how much she loved him. The tears stream down her cheeks, but then she hears the voice she thought was silenced forever telling her to keep driving. Ernie's alive, and somehow she's dropped to an unsafe twenty-five. She speeds up again feeling so tremendously alive, exhilarated to know that her favorite person in the world is with her still. She takes an exit into the middle of the city, turns left and right and left again, and pulls into a parking lot. She turns off the car and laughs as she exclaims over the fact that he's okay. He tells her to keep on driving, but she just can't when her heart is jerked around by what was almost the greatest tragedy of her life turning into the biggest shock instead. They don't see any agents, so they switch drivers and disappear into the city. Her breathing has returned to normal, but her heart is still racing when she finally gets out a "you're okay". He reminds her about the freaking armored seats, and she laughs. She can be such a ditz sometimes. She's never been more glad for all the crazy gadgets the Organization supplies them with, but that was way too close of a call. It's just not okay. Ernie can't almost die on her-especially without knowing that she loves him. It comes out in the form of I can't lose you, I love you too much for that. His reply is a question; he is wondering if she loves him. She's not sure why he wonders, why in heavens he hasn't seen the gleam and smile of hers that are just for him. She reminds him that he's her best friend who she needs in her life. She can't lose him or she'd die with him. Her heart feels like it will burst of happiness when he says that he loves her too, he always has. By now, her poor heart and head are overwhelmed, and she's not sure she's not just imagining things at this point. But the car stops almost magically. (He parked it.) As she leans in towards him, he has the biggest smile on his face. She closes her eyes and waits for the kiss, but it doesn't come. Her eyes pop open to find his grin even bigger. She ventures a "kiss me". He laughs eyebrow half in the air, and it feels cruel somehow. He reminds her that he can't because he promised he wouldn't. She feels like punching him for being such a stinker when she just wants a darn kiss, and she hears herself pleading with him to break the promise until...she feels his lips on hers. And she thought she was happy just moments before, but it couldn't compare because they love each other and they're alive and the future she knows it's just going to be more of this. The kiss is probably long but feels all too short when she pulls away. She's starting into the usual "don't tell KC" when he reminds her they'll have to. She whines. She doesn't want to pop the happy little bubble that's just them. He agrees to wait just a little longer. This is for them.

He's twenty-two, and she's twenty-four when they exit the sanctuary arm in arm. He's sure the lovely people are quietly cheering, but he doesn't hear them because he's so dang distracted. Marisa—looking so tremendously beautiful—is hanging on his arm. It's definitely the dress but not just the dress. She's the girl he's loved for so long he almost can't remember how long now, and she just promised him forever. The future is theirs, and their little bubble in which the best moments of his life always happened is here to stay. He mutters a "Mrs. Cooper". She doesn't move or say a word, but they haven't broken eye contact since they stepped through the door, so he can see the softness in her eyes. It was always meant to be and that fact is enough to almost make him tear up. He loves her so much. She answers finally with a "yes"; she's not used to the name yet. She tells him she likes the sound of it, and he feels like his heart could burst. Better than even the fact that she's his as wonderful as that is is the fact that she wants to be his. She's as in—as committed as he is. His reply is I'm happy this worked out. It's the understatement of the century, but it makes her laugh, and he just feels so in synch with her. He is so looking forward to sharing everything with her—missions, sick days, quiet evenings, and everything in between. All he can say is that it's going to be amazing, and her reply is a "yes, Ernie". She laughs saying the infamous "don't tell KC". He agrees from here on out they're not telling KC because it's just them.


End file.
